Letters to Nagihiko
by Haruka Sumairu
Summary: 017. Dear Cross-Dresser: Ever since you left for Europe, I've been thinking. How am I supposed to talk to you? So I decided to take the snail mail route to keep in contact. Not that I want to talk to you. Okay, maybe I do...sometimes.


**Dedicated to Rikan.  
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**My 17th story is for a 17-year-old~  
>Happy (Belated) Birthday!<br>**

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><p><em>Dear Cross-Dresser,<em>

_Ever since you left for Europe, I've been thinking._

_How am I supposed to talk to you?_

_So I decided to take the snail mail route to keep in contact._

_Not that I _want_ to talk to you. Okay, maybe I do...sometimes._

_I don't even know why._

_I also don't know why you had to go. We should be in middle school together, commenting on how ridiculous Kirishima looks in the new green uniform (which, FYI, he really does), hanging out with the former Guardians, and visiting Yaya and Kairi back at the elementary school._

_But it's not like I miss you or anything like that. It's just...Amu's too much of a spazz to do stuff like that with me and Tadase's too nice to make fun of people. Although I can also talk to Kukai, he ruffles my hair. Way. Too. Much. Yaya's too hyper most of the time, and Kairi's all...intellectual and stuff._

_And who else would I be able to make fun of twenty-four seven?_

_I don't know what else to say,_

_Rima_

_P.S. Your fangirls miss you, and for some reason they keep thinking that I'm mourning along with them, so they constantly bother me. Thanks a lot.  
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><p><em>Dear Nagihiko,<em>

_Time sure flies fast, doesn't it? It's already been two years since you left._

_Not that I've been counting or anything._

_Anyways, seeing as how it's been a few months since I last wrote, I'll update you on what's been going on so far. _

_Yaya and Kairi are finally in middle school, and Kukai just graduated (Yaya cried a lot for a while; it was so annoying). _

_I don't know how, and I don't know why, but Tadase got himself a girlfriend (don't ask). _

_Kukai and Utau finally got together, along with Amu and Ikuto; but it's really no surprise for those two couples, because they've been in love with each other since forever._

_School's okay. Seiyo High School is pretty much just a larger version of the elementary and middle schools, but the more people equal the more fanboys. _

_It didn't help that I haven't gotten much taller. _

_...Don't you dare laugh, or I'm going over there and strangling your neck. _

_It's happier at home, and my mom's been looking better than the time before the divorce. I still miss my dad though, but since he goes on business trips a lot I don't get to see him that much. I'm okay with that, though. _

_I hope you're happy over there too. But you know, I'm still not okay with you leaving. _

_I was never okay with you leaving._

_Sincerely, _

_Rima_

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><p><em>Dear Nagi,<em>

_It's our last year of high school. You should be here, helping prepare for our graduation and spending our last days at Seiyo with me._

_But you never came back. _

_You promised. _

_And I believed you. _

_Why can't you come back? _

_Even though I've been denying it over and over, I miss you so so much. _

_My heart hurts all the time, Nagihiko._

_When I curl up in bed at night, I cry silently because I know that you won't be with me tomorrow. _

_I know that I'll never see you again. And I'll never hear your voice again, and I'll never see your beautiful smile again. _

_All I ask is one more time to see you, to be with you, b_ut I know that it's impossible. __

__And every day of my life, I regret-  
><em>_

"What are you doing, Rima?" a voice called from behind her.

Rima stiffened and looked to see Amu staring at her with a puzzled look on her face. She relaxed. "Oh, it's just you, Amu."

"Are you doing homework or something? Wow Rima, it's pretty rare for you to do homework before school ends and before your daily after-school hot chocolate."

"No, I'm not doing homework," Rima said as she turned back to her paper. "Besides, you know I never do homework before my hot chocolate."

"True, true. Who are you writing to anyway?" Amu took a seat next to her and glanced at the top of the paper. Her face paled and her eyes widened.

"Rima, you're writing to...Nagi?"

Rima nodded and picked up her pen. "Yeah. I always write to him."

Amu bit her lip, as if trying to hold back something. After much fidgeting, she looked Rima straight in the eye and said, "Rima, w-why exactly do you keep writing to him?"

Rima gave Amu her usual glare and scoffed. "I write because he's in Europe, and he's not allowed to have an email. _Duh_. Plus, I'm going to keep pestering him with my letters until he actually finds the guts to _reply._"

"Of course he won't reply," Amu said quietly. "He's-"

There was a loud _thump _on the table. Rima had hit the table as hard as she could, and was currently in her famous ball position.

"..."

"Rima, I-"

"Shut up!" Rima looked up and into Amu's eyes, small tears falling down her face. "Don't say it."

"I have to. You need to accept the truth Rima, no matter how much it hurts."

Eyes pleading, Rima whispered, "Don't. Please."

"Rima," Amu started sadly, "writing to him isn't going to do any good. He'll never reply. And he'll never, ever, receive your letter."

Sitting quietly in her chair, Rima looked down and closed her eyes.

"Because you know, just as well as I do..."

Biting her lip, Rima silently tried to make Amu be quiet, to not say the dreaded words...

"...that Nagi is dead."

The tears spilled out of Rima's eyes and Amu watched sadly, her eyes tearing up as well.

"And he has been, ever since the day he boarded that plane and headed for Europe. _Ever since that plane crashed._"

The two girls stayed silent, one thinking of precious memories and one silently crying her heart out.

After one last look at Rima, Amu stood up and mumbled, "I'll be in the library if you need me." Then she walked away shakily, disappointed at herself for what she had done.

Trembling, Rima wiped away her tears and picked up her pen to finish her letter.

_All I ask is one more time to see you, to be with you, b_ut I know that it's impossible.__  
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__And every day of my life, I regret that I never had the courage to tell you:__

**__I love you.__**

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><p><strong>How depressing. I decided that I would do something different for a change, and this is definitely different. I don't think I'm very good in this genre though. orz<br>**

**I bet some of you right now are angry at Amu for making Rima sad. Or angry at me for making Nagi dead. /awkward smile  
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**Also, sorry I haven't been publishing anything lately. School sucks. I have a bunch of stories that I haven't finished yet that I started writing ages ago. So I'm definitely trying to finish those incomplete one-shots. But I'm mostly on dA, or Tumblr when I have spare time, so maybe I can catch some of you guys there? c: You can even try to pester me to finish some stuff.  
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**Anyways, thanks for reading!  
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